True Confessions

I’m sure most of you recognize this photo as it’s my profile photo on all of my pages, etc. My son took it last year. What it doesn’t show is that I’m 74 years old.

I’m definitely an older woman to most of you who will read this. I don’t expect I will tell you anything new, but hopefully, my age and life will add credence to what I say.

The Truth is Time goes by much too quickly.

Not new, right?  I’ve had two families with two children in their 50s and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. And three children in their 30s with one grandchild.

Time still goes by much too quickly.

I thought I had thrown my life away by the time I was 30 but the Lord found a reason to rescue this drunk drug-ridden soul of mine and is making me into the woman he wants me to be.

I’ve had some health issues this year that have caused me to slow down and think about what legacy I want to leave.

• As I perused all that I’ve been working on, things have come more clearly into focus.
• Recipes. Because of my lifestyle, I didn’t get any family recipes before my mother passed. I wasn’t interested. It has seemed important to me to pass our loved family recipes on to our children and their children.
• Photos. I’ve wanted them to be in order so everyone would have access to them.
• Writing. I’ve always wanted to be a well-known author. I’ve had some success in that but…

These were the areas I was spending my time on.

But then, confronted with this truth, I had to take another look at my life.

• “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:14 (NIV)

I had a friend whose husband kissed her before he got up to shower. When he came back to kiss her goodbye before he left for work, she was dead. Think about that for a minute.

We really don’t know if we have more than this breath. None of us know.

This is where I was when I rethought the legacy I wanted to leave.

Suddenly recipes, photos, and my writing seemed very trivial.

All I wanted to do was gather those I loved closer to me and enjoy them. Just be with them. I don’t need any perfect holiday plans, perfectly chosen gifts, or meals that would make a chef proud.

I don’t need it to happen exactly as it has for the past 20 years. It can be a week before Christmas or a week after Christmas. Day or night – it doesn’t matter. Just come whenever you can.

I remember when I was dating Dan. He was a poor college student and a date would be, “Would you like to go wash my car with me?” I would jump at the chance and enjoy every moment of our time together.

Now he says would you like to go out to dinner, and I said: “I’m too tired, or I already have something made.”

Forget that!

Now I will have dinner ready for tomorrow and I’ll rest for five minutes before I get ready and ask the Lord to give me the energy and grace to enjoy every minute of the time I have with him.

Yesterday I dropped everything to go to a 9:45 AM movie with my girls, take them to lunch and do a little shopping. It was great! I didn’t get the housework done or the writing I had planned, but it was still there when we got home so I did what I could then.

I am working on an autobiography that I want to leave for my family so they will remember all that the Lord has done to repair me so I could be their wife, mother, etc. They wouldn’t have liked the old me, but they need to know what a great God I serve. My 30-year-olds all grew up with the Lord and follow him. My 50-year-olds all grew up without the Lord and mostly without me.

It isn’t the tree, the food, or the gifts that your family and friends are coming to see. It’s you! It’s them you want to see and love, not what they bring. Yes, the decorations, gifts, and food add to the celebration, but they are not the reason for the celebration.

Jesus is the reason… If you have your family, friends, and Jesus you have everything you need for a great celebration.