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self-care Self-care

Self-care has been a topic of interest to me for quite some time. The opinions and options are all over the board.

I remember when I really believed I needed to do all the things people said I needed to do to care for myself.

In fact, one of our biggest fights was over self-care.

  • My husband had been working long, long hours – we’re talking 80-90 hours a week.
  • That left me home with three children under 6 and the youngest had leukemia.
  • The men of our church were planning a camping trip and our pastor thought Dan needed a break and should go along.
  • To me that said, Dan needs a break, but I didn’t.
  • When we went to speak with our pastor about it I was hardly speaking to Dan.
  • And when we finished speaking with our pastor I was hardly speaking to him.

I remember thinking no one really cared about me and my needs. I wasted a couple of days having a pity party and being sharp with the kids.

But God…

Then the Lord spoke to me about how much He cared for me. He would never leave or forsake me. How He would uphold me with his right hand. He called me to come to Him and let Him meet all my needs.

I’d like to tell you that I grabbed that chance to grow closer to the Lord, but truth is, I struggled. I knew all these things in my head, but they hadn’t settled into my heart yet.

  • For a long time, I struggled back and forth.
  • Getting away would be great, but…
  • Going out with the girls would be fun, but…
  • I really could use a break, but…

It was only then that I realized I didn’t really want to get away.

  • I loved being with my family.
  • It didn’t matter what we did as long as we were together and I was looking to the Lord to meet my needs.

These thoughts did change my heart. I decided the kids and I needed to have some fun too. We went to the park to play, out for lunch with a playground, and stopped for ice cream.

Yes, it would have been more fun to have had Dan with us, but I planned to talk with him about my needs, not to get away, but to spend more time together as a family. It didn’t have to be a two-week vacation. A playground and ice cream cone was just fine.

Here are some articles I’ve read recently on this issue. Where do you stand? Please leave a comment and let me know.

The Danger of Self-Care

You’re Running on Empty Mama, But the Solution Isn’t to Take Time for Yourself

You Need Self-Control, Not Self-Care

When Self-Care Isn’t Enough

Is Self-care a Bad Word?




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  • CJ
    Posted June 16, 2019 at 4:18 PM

    Ah, self-care. Who knew such a seemingly simple term could be so charged? While it’s easy to go too far with something and we don’t want to take “self-care” as license to be selfish, I look at it this way. The Lord commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves, right? There’s a presumption that we actually care for ourselves—which doesn’t necessarily come naturally to us mamas. Think of the airplane analogy. In an emergency, where the oxygen masks deploy, whose are we supposed to put on first? Of course we want to put on our kids’ masks as well as that of the elderly man across the aisle—but if we don’t make sure we’re breathing first, how much help can we be for others? Besides, what do we want to model for our kids, who learn most from what we do?

    • Post Author
      Phyllis Sather
      Posted June 17, 2019 at 11:39 AM

      I agree – we do need to take care of ourselves and spending time with the Lord is a great
      way to do that.

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