Fear of failure got you down?

I’ve been feeling a bit down the last few days. We’ve been doing a lot of fun things, but that has meant that we’ve been even busier than usual, which is difficult even for me to believe.

Travel and guests mean fun, but they also bring with it a sort of emotional letdown when they are over, and it can be difficult to get yourself back on track emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Usually my first reaction is that I must be failing because I’m not “feeling” like I think I should be feeling. Then I usually try to push through by pretending everything is fine, when it actually isn’t fine at all.

Recently I learned a valuable lesson. We had traveled over the 4th of July weekend, and returned with a house guest who stayed for a week. When she left my first instinct was just to collapse. I had a lunch date with several Christian homeschool moms who I really wanted to be with, but really didn’t feel like I had much to give so I thought I might as well stay home.

Thankfully my husband made the decision for me. So I was getting ready to leave, knowing that all three of our young adult children would be here to begin the clean up and preparation for our next guest who would be arriving in less than a week – after we went on a three day retreat. Yes, yes, we’ll talk later about overbooking yourself, or leaving a margin in your plans.

This lunch would require over an hour’s drive each way and I wasn’t looking forward to doing that alone, but I really didn’t have any other option. Then one by one our young adults came to me and said they would really like to go along. My first thought was if they all came along, who would be getting the work done?

Thankfully the Lord interrupted that thought to remind me that they were probably feeling as drained as I was and could use some down time to regroup too. So they all got ready in less than 20 minutes and we were on our way.

I spent some time listing to my friends share what the Lord has been saying to them, which was a lot on trusting the Lord and His faithfulness – things I really needed to hear. My young adults had lunch together and then spent time at a book store browsing and chatting.

On the way home we ditched our more complicated dinner plans in favor of something very simple and shared with each other about our time out.

I was surprised when we got home and everyone got right to work – without me asking them to – and I think they accomplished more than they would have if they had stayed home.

Today I read this article by Deborah Wuehler, titled “That Guilty Feeling:  Fighting the Spirit of Failure”.  She talks about homeschooling, and has some great points, but what grabbed my attention once again is that our fear of failure in whatever we are doing comes from expectations –regardless of whether they are of myself or others.

•  – Everyone else has a better ________ than I do – fill in the blank
• – I am inadequate
• – I feel guilty about not getting it all done.
• – I feel guilty about ______ – fill in the blank.
• – Others make me feel guilty because I (we) are different or don’t fit in.

We can all come up with reasons we think we are failing. That is when we need to take our eyes off ourselves and get them on the Lord. We need to hear what He is calling us to do and where He is calling us to go – regardless of how that looks to others, or sometimes even to ourselves.

Here is the cure for feelings of failure, found in Micah 7:7-8

the LORD will be a light to me.”

Phyllis

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Phyllis Sather
Contact me Phyllis@Phyllis-Sather.com